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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Ever felt like this?

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
"Stained Glass Masquerade" - Casting Crowns

One of the great things about driving into work is getting to listen to quality Christian music. One of the great things about driving into work with my brother Nathan is getting to listen to quality Christian music that I haven't heard before!

I love Casting Crowns because they don't mince their words in the slightest! And that's why I love this song. Too often we feel like this (I know I can't be the only one...can I?!)

It's challenging. It challenges me to be more honest and open, and not put up a front of everything being fine in my walk with God. It's funny the timing of things. Last night I spoke to Kat and she asked how I was...and I wanted to say "Well, actually Kat, I've been struggling with quiet times recently and I feel a lot of the time I'm just paying God lip-service, y'know?" But what I said was "Yeah, I'm good, just very tired after the weekend" (Or words to that effect). Now, she let me get away with it for a while. And then she said "So - how about God time?"

Bam. No escape! But I was glad of it. Glad because I knew she wouldn't judge me, glad because it means she's gonna keep onto me which is what I need, glad because it shows how much she cares.

And then there's the other challenge from that song. "Would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay?"

The challenge to me is this: Am I showing people enough through my words and actions that I wouldn't judge them? Am I open enough that people are comfortable to come to me when they're struggling? I need to be if I'm gonna be any good at Relay - if I'm to be any use to God in life full stop.

And am I ready to ask people the hard questions, because I care? Am I pointing people back to God's grace? Am I letting myself be pointed back there?

Convicted today that I need to remember people are not perfect; I need to remember that I am just as bad if not a worse sinner than the person standing next to me - Christian or not; I need to not put other Christians on some sort of pedastol; I need to be more honest about my struggles; I need to listen more; I need to judge less; I need to love more; I need to be more full of grace.

4 Comments:

Anonymous lucy said...

hey ceryn. Thanks for your honesty. I only hope that all who know me make me accountable like Kat does with you. I need that sort of accountability in my life.

2:50 PM  
Blogger -bb- said...

"I need to be if I'm gonna be any good at Relay - if I'm to be any use to God in life full stop."

The great thing is ceryn we arent any use/good to God. He takes us, remembers we are dust, puts his holy spirit in us and then uses us. He changes us bit by bit and its only HIM that gives us what we need for living this life his way and doing the good works that he has planned for us.

Remember, Paul rejoiced in his weakness. Cos our weaknesses show God's strength. How awesome is that!!

3:38 PM  
Blogger Welshie said...

hey both, thanks for your comments.

Lucy - one thing i've found helpful (tho hard to do!) is ask people to make sure they keep me accountable...and i need to make sure i'm doing the same for them. i often find it as hard to ask the hard questions as i do to answer them...but i need, and indeed want to because i care about my friends. not in a 'big brother' way but in a caring, wanting them to grow in Christ way. and i find that i can't ask them those quesitons unless i'm prepared to answer them...it's a nice little circle!

bb!! hehe. thanks, yeah, i didn't phrase that very well did i. the perils of blogging when you're tired! I meant that when i'm doign relay i wanna have an openness and honesty about me that makes people feel comfortable...and then ihtought hang on, i don't want that jsut when i'm doing relay, i want it all my life! and yeah i wanna rejoice in my weaknesses...i've learnt that so much through being ill, that it's really not about me inthe slightest and there is nothing i can offer God but myself. maybe that's what i was trying to say too...that i wanna be just holding nothing back, just being so open to letting God come in and change what needs to be changed.

dunno if that makes any more sense, i'm still very tired!

thanks for picking up on that and the reminder of how great God is...he doesn't need us yet he uses us. wow.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Timmy C said...

great point bec, thanks for bringing it out :D I find it such an encouragement to remember that it's HIM who does the work! We really wretched sinners, but sinners dipped head-long in grace and clean before God. It's his work in us, that makes us who we now are before God, and who we're becoming in him.

2:15 AM  

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