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Friday, June 16, 2006

Much Ado About Nothing

The title of the play I went to see performed by RUDS last night (which was excellent, by the way!) I must say I felt all sophisticated...and slightly 'English'...watching Shakespeare performed in the open air on a summer's evening with a picnic. Although I didn't have any tea or a parasol or anything so I'm still safe and not fully corrupted. Need a walk in the Welsh mountains, a stroll through a valley and a game of rugby to watch pronto. I've been here too long.

But at the same time, not long enough. Today has the potential to feel like a life-changing day and the potential to feel like the end - more so than my last exam. That felt like the beginning of the end, as it were.

Forgive me if I'm not making much sense.

Today I get my results. And so today has the potential to wind me up into a nervous ball of Welsh energy... or the potential to force me to rely on God more and more. I know which one I'd rather, but I know which one I'm more likely to do.

Jen told me t'other day of Pete Lowman's prayer at this time of year - that whatever students need to get to be where God wants them to be in 10 years time - that they would get, whether they like it right now or not! (Or words to that effect!) And that's right. But it's hard.

And yesterday Kat reminded me of it... and that I'm going to heaven no matter what.

And that's right. So why do I battle with my nerves today?

Well, because I'm rubbish and sinful; because these results and how they define me and how I feel my family and friends will define me on the basis of them is becoming my security isn't it. And when something other than God, my Rock, becomes what I place my security in I start to go all shaky and scared. Unfortunately, I know from experience.

But this time I'll use experience in my favour and I'll turn to my Rock.

Psalm 33 says "By the word of the LORD were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth....For he spoke and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm...But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." (Verses 6, 9, 11)

THIS is the God in whom I put my trust! The God who simply spoke, and the world was created. The God whose Word and plans stand firm forever. The God whose purposes continue through all generations. The God who is stopped by nothing and nobody. THE God.

God loves me. He loves me with a love I don't deserve, and I cannot comprehend. And He loves me with a love I cannot earn - through my results or otherwise.

And ultimately, it's His love I want, and it's His plans I want to be walking in because I know they are Good for me (Jeremiah 29:11)...and will glorify His Name. And I know that my plans, contrary to His, will most certainly not stand forever.

And so, I want to be praying all morning that I'd have this thought in my mind when I collect my results, because I know how easily I forget. And not only this morning, but for the rest of my days. I want my life to glorify God always, I want to be walking in His plans for me always, I want to be knowing my security in Him always...

Making much of Him, and not much ado about nothing...


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