On my knees

In church this morning James quoted from John Owen, who said:

“A minister may fill his pews...and the mouths of the public, but what that minister is on his knees in secret before God Almighty, that he is, and no more”.

That quote REALLY hit me coz it doesn't just apply to ministers, it applies to us all. It applies to me. I am nothing but what I am in Christ. Whatever God sees in my heart, that is what I am. I can try all I like to hide bits of me from others; God sees them. And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to have to hide stuff. I want to be genuine. I want God to SO permeate my life with His Spirit - my actions, words, thoughts...everything! I know I'll never be perfect this side of Heaven - but I wanna be so much more serious about sin, so much more desperate to root it out of my life. I want to cling to Jesus my true vine and produce fantastic fruit. I want Him to prune me where I need to be pruned; clean me where I need to be cleaned.

And then the other thing is that I want everything I do to bring glory to God. When I'm with other people I want to be exactly what I am when I'm simply on my knees before God, when I'm standing myself next to the cross of Christ - nothing but what I am in God. NOTHING of me, and ALL of Him. I am nothing more than that. May it always be about God, and never about me.

That goes some way to explaining where I'm coming from in this poem...

On My Knees

On my knees before You
The door is closed to all;
You see me now in secret
And to my heart You call.

You see me now in secret
One true thing I know;
On my knees before You -
I am nothing but Your own.

On my knees before You
My deepest depths unveiled;
You see me now in secret,
Nothing hidden remains.

You see me now in secret
You know how I must change;
On my knees before You
Oh Father, have Your way.

On my knees before You
I pray that I'd be cleaned;
You see me now in secret,
Have me glorify Your Name.

You see me now in secret
And this is all I am;
On my knees before You
My life is in Your hands.

On my knees before You
I pray that I'd bear fruit;
You see me now in secret,
Let others see this too.