life, times, amblings and ramblings

I'll probably regret posting this...

2009-06-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

Inspired by many things, this post. Sparked into action partly by this post:

http://thebluefish.org/2009/04/what-would-you-teach-young-christian.html

you need to read that first!

beware some brutal honesty...i've pondered for a long time whether to post this. I want to do it in a spirit of contributing to discussion without fanning flames of indignation or pain or annoyance or anything else, so please take it as such!

----

Short of God Himself, I would say there a few things less praise-inducing (or attractive!) to a Christian girl than the man Bish asks if we could see in the post linked to above.

(having written that, I've decided it's not true. But the point of emphasis still stands – we really, really want to see Christian men like that!)

I'm tired of seeing young girls, friends (and myself) worn out in disappointment with Christian men who are not what is described. I'm tired of arguing against the temptation to turn to non-Christian men, because in actual fact they seem more manly (and, yes, caring...) most of the time.

I'm tired of young girls, women, friends, (myself) succumbing to the temptation to lead and control the godly men we know, instead of encouraging them in responsibility. I'm tired of people (especially men!) thinking I want to stay single simply because I get on with life and am not whiling away my days waiting for/desperately seeking out prince charming.

I'm tired of sin.

I'm longing to see Christians of the male gender be MEN not boys. I'm longing that they would love God with all their hearts and follow His Word, kneeling at the foot of the cross, all their days. I'm longing that should they choose to stay single for the sake of the gospel, that they would remain admirable and encouraging to the women around them.

I'm longing that should they choose to marry for the sake of the gospel, they would seek out their wife, under God's Headship and leading, (not making it obvious to all and sundry that they're desperate for a wife – that's not gonna make any girl 'chosen' feel special or loved or secure) and love her as Christ loves the Church.

I'm longing that Christians of the female gender would be women, not girls. That they would lean on their Father daily and allow His Holy Spirit to shatter their insecurities and need for control in all areas of relationships. That they would love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength...and allow Him to love them back with an even stronger, even more all-encompassing love. That they would use their single days for the sake of the gospel and the Church, not worrying whether these days will ever end but concerned only with Christ and His Kingdom. That if those single days never end they would know contentment and joy in God our Saviour. That if they find themselves in a relationship, they would work at it and see it not as a sense of security or identity but as a blessing and would seek to love and encourage the man God has given them to be a more godly man in word, thought and deed.

I long that the rest of the Church would stop silly match making games and careless talk about "maybe she likes him..." etc. That there would be proper, explicit teaching about relationships in the church - about how they are not our security, about how they can be great, but also hard work, about boundaries and godly choices, about divorce, about the roles of men and women in relationships and about how those who are single within the church can seek to fulfil those roles to the extent that they are brothers and sisters.

I long for relationships and marriage to be neither a topic addressed with cynicism nor as a state of being to be desired above all else in this life. I long for single parents (made such by death or divorce) to be supported in the church and made to feel at home and loved – not as though they are the odd ones out or (in the case of divorce) 'the ones who got it wrong...'

I want to see greater compassion and support for married couples from singles - instead of resentment. I want to see greater compassion and support for singles from those who are married - instead of incredibly unhelpful comments about how hard relationships are (ie you're 'lucky' being single) and/or how God is in control and/or "you should find yourself a husband/wife" and/or "oh you're 25 now...better hurry"

I want this in myself, I want this for my friends, I want this for the Church...I want this for God's glory. I want to stop feeling like I'm 'past it' in the relationships stakes or that there are no godly Christian men out there who I can respect enough to submit to and love and trust. I want to stop being cynical about marriage because of all the bad experiences I've seen my (Christian and non-) family and friends go through.

I want to get married. I want to have kids. There – I said it! But I refuse to believe that that is my aim in life, no matter what the world and the church and my family and friends may think/want/tell me. I will pray for that blessing, but I will not pine away my days by seeking it or making it an idol or wondering if every new Christian guy I meet could be 'the one'.

And I want to marry a man who understands that, who doesn't want me to make him or our relationship an idol. I want Christian guys to get this – that there are so many girls like me longing for a godly man to love them and care for them, even though it doesn't probably look like that at face value because, hey, we're getting on with life. We want the guys to dig a little deeper, to get to know us, to prove themselves worthy of our trust by showing an interest beyond what we show the rest of the world. Not because we're playing games, but because we've been hurt, because we're scared, because we don't want to mope, and because we're fighting with everything in us to put Jesus first, not marriage.

I want to know what it is, as a Christian girl, that I need to 'get' about guys!

I want to be a woman of God who cherishes Him first and foremost, who pursues righteousness, who seeks to further His kingdom...and who enjoys godly friendships with godly guys without any agenda or disappointment.

I want a lot...and yet not much. I want Jesus - and Jesus can do it all.

thoughts

2009-01-14T14:47:00.000-08:00

s'up

it's been a while, and there have been comments on this, so it turns out people do read this rambling monologue after all.

weird, huh.

i can't write anything coherent and to be honest i'd all but forgotten about this blog malarky. But some current thoughts:

i like cold, fresh weather. love it, in fact.

where's the balance between not being sucked into a Christian bubble, and building and encouraging and supporting the Church?

I LOVE Church. Capitol C and not. Worldwide and local. Love it.

life is weird. innit though.

i forget stuff so easily.

i like living in cardiff.

i need to be more responsible about and take more seriously the need to remind myself of gospel truths. every day. every hour, matter of fact.

people need to be loved.

Mornings are proper hard. Like, really.

i need to be more gracious.

i hate money.

Jesus saves. Actually, really, properly does.

I am blessed. Actually, really, properly blessed.

i need to honour God in my job. And work out with Him exactly what that means.

i like learning Welsh. Dwi'n hoffi dysgu Cymraeg.

nos da.

Camp Talk 4

2008-09-01T12:31:00.000-07:00

Colin Tamplin. You know the drill.

"I can't live up to what the Bible says about sex and relationships".
Genesis 39.

It appears there are no rules in society concerning sex and relationships. But there are. For example: no family, always consensual, and always safe.

Outside of that, pretty much anything goes. One night stands, homosexual sex, any number of partners...

There's an increasing 'normalising' of these things in society. So there's an enormous gap between that and what the Bible says. it agrees with the fundamentals of society's rules, but it goes further - only in marriage, and only between men and women. That sounds more than strange in today's society.

The Bible says a lot of good things about sex in marriage, but sets marriage as the boundary.

Sex is fun! There wouldn't be a big deal about it if it wasn't. There's a lot of pressure. But not even this is something worth compromising our faith over. And it is possible to live in our society whilst following Biblical sexual principles.

Genesis 39 - a very similar/familiar/contemporary story

1. Our situation isn't any different
Joseph was literally a stranger and alien in Egyptian society. The temptation he faced was as strong as anything we could ever face. And yet he remained pure.

2. Our God has not changed.
How have previous Christians faced these tempations and resisted?
"The Lord was with Joseph". " The Lord...." etc etc. Get the point?!

It isn't superhero Joseph, God was with him. Do you dare to say "God was with Joseph but not with me"? That's as close to blasphemy as you'll get.

God has promised to be with every believer. If you're saying you can't do it, either you're saying it all depends on you or you're saying God isn't the same support to you as to others.

However, there were also things Joseph had to do. And while God is always the hero, there are heroic things we need to do.
a. Practical - be on your guard and be sensible!
b. Relational
c. Spiritual

3. The rewards for faithfulness are the same
In the short term, Joseph was in the pit. But we're not in the business of short terms.

Camp Talk 3

2008-09-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

Colin Tamplin. Spot any herecy? Tell me, but don't blame him!

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose my friends."
1 Peter (yep, all of it!) Focus on 1 Peter 1:1-9

Deep down, what most of us want more than anything else in the world is to fit in. If we're committed to Jesus then immediately a danger eneters our lives - we won't be able to fit in as well as we did.

There are lots of reasons why we may struggle with Christianity. Yesterday we looked at intellectual reasons. Now we're looking at personal/social/emotional reasons. And there's a whole book of the Bible tackling the theme of what you do when you don't fit in.

1:1 - "exiles"/ "strangers". 1:17 - "exile". 2:11 - "exiles". Get the picture?! These people were living in their own community. And yet Peter calls them exiles. If you don't fit in you still have to live "normal lives". How do we deal with how hard it is to not fit in?

1. Don't have unnecessary fear. (2:11-12)
It is possible to live a consistent Christian life and yet live a 'normal' life. Matthew 5:16

2. Don't exaggerate the fear (1:6, 5:10)
"A little while"! It can and will happen that we will be left out and isolated and lonely etc. That is when we must not let fear stop us in our tracks. It's only for a short time.

3. Don't be defeated:
a. You are extremely privileged (1:1 "elect")
The Bible never goes into election in a controversial way, but in a way that's meant to make us feel good!
b. Your old life isn't worth returning to (1:18).
"Futile". There's no point living an empty life. 4:3-5. The old life seems attractive under pressure of loneliness. But it is futile.
c. A great price has been paid for you (1:17-19)
Redemption. We can never live a life worthy of Christ's sacrifice. But we can live a life compatible with it.
d. You are part of a great community (2:4, 4:12-13)
At that moment you're isolated, you're being like Jesus. 5:8-9. You belong to God, identify with Jesus and identify with the Church throughout the world.
e. This does not go on forever.
Don't abandon your faith for people who will soon be out of your life. How many people in their twenties, thirties, are still friends with people they were in school with?
f. The suffering will be worth it. 1:6-7.

Camp Talk 2

2008-09-01T12:11:00.000-07:00

Colin Tamplin. Again, any herecies are my fault not his.

Acts 17:16-34. "I'm not sure it Christianity is true".

Is it worth investing my life in something when there seem to be so many questions about it?

DOUBT - is a very, very normal part of the Christian life and experience. The questions trouble us. Especially when we don't have the answers! Psalms - so many of them are of lament, complaint, doubt. More than praise.

Doubt is also important. You probably won't make any significant spiritual progress until you're prepared to risk doubt. It's like learning to walk! When you take a step, there's a wobble as you're off balance, until your foot comes down on something solid. But without lifting your foot in the first place, without the wobble, you won't go anywhere.

God can take the weight of our questions. But it's important that we do it with others. The church.

Once a year, take a big question to work through. Tell your minister/a good Christian friend. And then wrestle with that question.

Doubt is not just for Christians. Everyone has the same questions, regardless of their religion. (or not). Atheists may say they're avoiding religious questions - rubbish! There's no safe place to hide from the tough questions.

Doubt can be just an excuse. We believe or disbelieve for a whole lot of reasons - of which the mind is just one. Doubt or intellectual struggles may be genuine - but is it really?

Paul was one of the world's really great thinkers. Not even he realised how spiritually, morally and intellectually corrupt Athens was.

From Paul's talk in the Areopagus we can realise 3 things that all answers to difficult questions stand on:
1. A book that can be trusted.
Paul doesn't quote the Bible but everything he says is based on it. Think about how he knows what he says about God in this passage.

2. A person who is absolutely unique.
You can't just add Jesus to a list of other gods. He is the only God. So when you're struggling, the key thing to do is get your mind back to Jesus. Whatever else I don't understand, here is a man who is real and true and genuine.

3. An event that changed everything.
Jesus cannot be the same as the gods of other religions. He died and He rose again.

Camp Talk 1

2008-09-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

Colin Tamplin. Please ascribe any herecies to me and my poor note-taking, not to Colin.

Theme for the week: Galatians 5:7: "You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?"

We want to look at this not just in a "Who's stopping you altogether" way, but also in a "Who'se stopping you running REALLY well" way.

1 Timothy 4:6-10

If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed. Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God,who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.

Timothy is in Ephesus as Paul's assistant to 'sort out' the church. In this section Paul is encouraging Timothy in what he should teach and how he should be.

'being trained'. Same word as we get 'gymnasium' from. It's good to stay in good physical shape - but spiritual is better.

'race' - an image which is common in the Bible. Relating to ancient games - everyone at Paul and Timothy's time would have been familiar with the image of a race.

1 Timothy 3 - qualifications for elders. All seem very 'uninteresting'! None of them, except teaching, can only be applied to leaders - need to be applied to any Christian. So what Paul says to Timothy, he would say to any Christian.

1. DIET (4:6)
What you teach shows what you've digested. Athletes need a very good diet. Get fed right. You can only get away with a bad diet for a certain amount of time.

2. FOCUS (4:7-8)
Athletes get to a podium because that's all they think about for 4 years. That's not always a healthy thought - single mindedness. But for the Christian it's important. One single thought - to honour God and serve Him and get the prize. That doesn't mean you become a pastor or missionary. It means whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.

3. TRAINING (4:7b-9)
Diet and focus alone will not be enough. Training is difficult but necessary. Train with a goal in view. Are you living for the prize of this life or the life to come? We will be much longer 'dead' than alive...

4. MOTIVATION (4:9-10).
God and the gospel!

Back I went...

2008-09-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

This week I did something I had wondered whether I'd ever do again.

I returned to an EMW camp as an officer. I have been a participant in EMW (Evangelical Movement of Wales) camps, either as a camper or a kitchen helper or an officer since the age of 10. That's a long time. So a three year break shouldn't have seemed like such a big deal, but it felt like it! For many personal reasons.

But, thanks to a lot of nagging from Dan, the leader (I think more because he was desperate than because he wanted me!), and a bit more of a push from God I went back. Even mid-way through the week I was still feeling very unsure about whether it was the right thing to do.

But now I'm back home, man do I realise how much I have missed it and just how encouraged and challenged I am as a result of that week. And just how much more I want to live my life serving Christ and His Kingdom.

To spend a week with 60+ 14-18 year olds and a team of very different leaders, 90% of whom I'd never met, didn't exactly seem like my idea of fun. Add to that lying on the floor, not very much sleep, a lot of exhausting activities and the need to be giving, giving, giving all the time, not to mention no time alone for a week - and they would be my reasons for not going back!

How selfish I am. I am suitably rebuked.

The team were lush, each of them encouraging in their own God-given way, and it's always exciting meeting new people who are Christians - there's an instant bond.

The campers were equally lush. A lot of fun to spend the week with. And more importantly, they encouraged me more than I can put into words. Anyone who stands up for Christ and demonstrates a desire to grow in Him and see their friends converted spurs me on. But when a teenager who has a whole lot of temptations to deal with and various other things going on in life does the same, I'm simply bowled over.

Yes it was camp. Yes it was a bit of an unrealistic bubble of a week. But I really believe they meant their words and prayers and actions. And am praying that they grow and grow, each one of them who knows Christ. And for those who don't - praising the Lord that they weren't at that camp by accident, that He drew them, and praying He would continue drawing them towards Himself.

What a joy it is to be part of God's Kingdom and to serve Him in it!

In other news

2008-08-19T15:07:00.001-07:00

It's August (would you believe)...which means Facebook has been showing me a lot of wedding pictures lately.

Most of them have been of the weddings of people who aren't Christians. One I looked at tonight really struck me.

It looked amazing. I mean, really. Everything just looked perfect and everyone looked beautiful and the cake was amazing and the venue was stunning and the flowers were beautiful and the HUGE wedding party were dressed to the nines in what looked like designer wedding gear.

It looked expensive. Like, really expensive!

And that, to be fair, was what impressed me, wasn't it.

And then there's the obligatory pictures of everyone a little worse for wear in the evening and suddenly the flowers are droopy, the clothes shabby, cake dismantled, the people decidedly less beautiful and the venue just doesn't look like anything much in the dark.

Tomorrow I'm going to a wedding of some Christian friends. And when they get married, it will be beautiful.

They will look wonderful, the wedding party will be dressed to the nines and the flowers will make all the women go "ahhh". The food will be lovely and the venue is, to be fair, fantastic.

But that is not what will impress me tomorrow.

What will impress me tomorrow is the memory that these two people trust their lives to God's leading, and will do the same with their marriage. What will impress me tomorrow is the reminder of Christ and the Church. What will be impressed upon me tomorrow, is a glorious picture of heaven.

And unlike the photos I saw on FB earlier, The Wedding Feast will not fade. The flowers will not wilt and the clothes will not loosen and the food will remain plentiful and the people will be beautiful and the venue...well. It will not suddenly all become meaningless and empty. It will be complete. We will be complete.

We will stand before Jesus. And it won't be about money or show or having a good time. It will be about Him.

The youth of today

2008-08-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

I had the (some may say 'dubious') privilege of leading four teenagers in Sunday school type activities on Sunday morning (I say 'Sunday school type' because they're clearly too old for Sunday school proper. Discuss?)

Anyway. I hadn't really prepared anything solid. Naughty. But the main point being that I'm hopefully soon to be setting up some youth type activity on a Sunday evening for the youth in our church. So I wanted to spend the time discussing how they'd like it to go. What they wanted to discuss. It may only be 7 years since I was officially a teenager (note the use of the word 'officially') - but 7 years is a long time. And issues have changed. Maybe the fundamental questions haven't, but the issues have.

Anyway. We started chatting just to kick off - general chit chat (which they're surprisingly good at, for teenagers). 3 boys and a girl. Not the best dynamic! Surprisingly quickly (is anything really that surprising with the Lord?) we got onto the topic of what a Christian is. Answers ranged not that far from "Someone who gets dunked" to "someone who goes to church" to "someone who doesn't go to church because they believe in God anyway so they don't need to go to church".

From that, I wrote in big red letters on a white board the question "Why are you here?" Risky.

Answers ranged from the unexpected "to grow spiritually" to the expected "cause my parents make me come". (NB: What does that say about my expectations?)

Despite the repetetive refrain of "I'm bored and I want to go home" which I heard throughout the session, we actually had some glimpses of good discussion. I asked them what questions they'd like answered...I was quite scared about the response as soon as the question left my lips! And there were some daft ones to be fair. I'm sorry to stereotype, but...teenage boys! But amongst the typical teenage boy questions and comments were the following:

Questions they asked:
1. What does the Bible say about dinosaurs?
2. Why are there wars?
3. Why are people starving?
4. What is God's opinion on homosexuality?
5. What language did people speak at the beginning of the world and why do people speak different languages now?
6. Did God make aliens?
7. Do politicians always lie?
8. Why do we have a Pope?
9. Is church just for old people?
10. What age do you stop being innocent and start to take responsibility for your own actions?
11. Why is God even relevant to me?
12. What is Revelation about?
13. What happens to babies when they die?

Statements they made:
"To be honest, I don't care about stuff like truth. I'm 15. All I care about is girls."

"I don't think we're ready for church. We need more life experience. Everything's done for us right now. If we had harder lives, like having to pay bills, then we'd need to believe in God and we'd need to come to church."

"You know something's good if you like it"

Stuff they'd like to do on a Sunday morning:
sleep
extreme ironing
read the Street Bible
not have people come down too heavy
something fun
learn about the Bible while having fun
more discussion
less discussion
illustrations
re-enact Bible stories
re-write Psalms in their speak!
wordsearches

What happened at the end:
I had the opportunity to explain (or attempt to) to one of the guys why "all have sinned"...why all are guilty before God...how Jesus dealt with that on the cross...why He could...what that means...and confront him with a choice. I pray he thought about that after church as seriously as he seemed to be when I was explaining it. And that God redeems my futile attempt and insufficient words.

The whole morning was a quite scary prospect. The pressure to 'be cool' and fit in and be liked was horrendous throughout. Several times I was screaming to myself, and God, "Get me out of here - make the service finish quicker!" (I knew dad was preaching so there was no chance of that...and anyway I'm normally screaming the opposite when I'm sat in church!)

But by the Lord's grace I do really feel we got somewhere. I hope I made them think...if I did it could have some interesting repurcussions!

Please pray with me as I try and tackle some of those questions and statements over the next months. I'm scared. Excited. Scared. Excited.

Lacking nothing

2008-06-14T01:51:00.000-07:00

I have just spent the most glorious hour immersed in God's Word, and I'm excited, and I'd like to share it!

Just four verses mind you. FOUR! Out of the whole Bible, just four verses have gripped me and excited me - what does that say about how much more there is to discover in the whole of the rest of the Bible? An exciting thought in itself, no?

So anyway, I've decided to start studying the book of James. I read it through this morning and thought well, that there is a mine packed full to bursting with pure gems of wisdom on how to live an authentic Christian life. I also remembered why I've been putting off reading this book - it's scarily challenging! But I figure that's a good thing and actually pretty much what I need.

So.

This is what I focused my attention on this morning:

"James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,

To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion:

Greetings.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

(James 1:1-4)

Firstly, James refers to himself as a servant of God. What does that mean? I decided to hold that thought, slightly amused by the fact that he just says "Greetings". Simple, to the point. I love Paul's lengthy openings to his letters, but I love this too...straight to the point!

Anyway, James clearly has a point to get across. Oh and he's written this to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion (NIV says "scattered across the nations" - maybe a little more helpful in understanding what that means). That thought held too. (I'm at full capacity now)

What's the first point he makes then? About trials. I wonder, does this suggest that the people James is writing to are suffering? Also, is it a generic letter? To the twelve tribes...(thought retreived). In which case, is James acknowledging that whichever Christian he writes to, they will at some point in their walk with God go through trials. That trials are simply a given when it comes to being a Christian - they may be of 'various kinds', but they will happen...?

This seems to fit with my personal experience, and also encourages me that whatever James has written here, it can apply to me too (apart from the fact that it's the Word of God).

v3. you KNOW. They KNEW that testing = steadfastness. So why is he saying it? A reminder perhaps?

(slightly relevant tangent insertion: I studied part of Jonah with two friends last night and we were talking about how Jonah just forgot who God was...and yet when he described him to the sailors, who didn't know him, they recognised instantly how much God was worthy of their respect. How often, we said, do we as Christians just forget who God is?)

Remember what you ALREADY KNOW. This isn't new teaching, and it's trustworthy anyway because it's God's Word, but you can also know it to be trustworthy from the experiences you have had. You already knew it before I reminded you of it.

How did they know? Well how do we know anything? Through what we're told, yes, but also through experience. Surely the people James was writing to had experienced testing....and had experienced the result of of faithfulness through testing - that is, increased steadfastness. But we so easily forget this when the next trial comes along. Which is why we need reminding.

So...count it joy when you meet trials? Why? Because of the end result! Steadfastness. And what that leads to....perfection and completion! Surely we want that....

This is the wonderful revealed 'secret' of suffering and trials - God in His mercy and grace uses them for our good!

I guess not everyone's experienced this. Or, maybe a better way to put it would be to say people have experienced this to varying degrees. But me, personally....I KNOW, through times of struggle, I KNOW from these experiences that my faith has been tested and it has developed steadfastness within me. I often don't feel like it, but I know that I am a more mature and steadfast Christian now than I was two years ago. And I know that's a result of God's grace to me in testing times. And I know that means I can praise Him for those trials. Because I'm very glad I'm more mature and steadfast now!

But there's more isn't there...

"And", v4. And = more. And = don't stop there. Don't stop at just having joy in trials. Don't stop at wanting to be steadfast. Understand WHY steadfastness is so good.

Doesn't sound a particularly great word, does it, 'steadfastness'. Doesn't sound 'cool'. or fun.
What does it mean anyway?

How about steady. Un-moving. Fixed. Anchored. (BB Motto- Sure and Steadfast)

And what does it achieve? v4. Perfection and completion. How does being steadfast, being anchored, have the effect of perfection?

Well, if you're anchored in God...

Oh and another thing, James acknowledges that trials, difficult situations will test our faith. Will be difficult. What does 'testing' of our fatih mean? Doubt? Quite probably, although from my reading of James as a whole earlier I noticed he has other things to say about doubt, but I'll get to that soon (in a couple of days/weeks at this rate of reading!)

So anyway, it's ok to feel tested! It's ok, and natural, and will happen that our faith is tested in and through difficult situations. We cannot, don't have to, and should not face difficult situations with a blind optimism. That sounds a pretty daft way to face difficulties and trials. Almost denial. Sometimes maybe we think we should just blindly say "It's ok, God will sort it", which is all very well if you truly believe that but I think sometimes we (I) feel a pressure to say such things because I don't feel 'allowed' to be tested. I don't feel 'allowed' to doubt. I don't feel 'allowed' to find things difficult if I'm a Christian.

RUBBISH! James states quite clearly "when you face trials", "the testing of your faith", which implies quite clearly that we WILL face trials and our faith will be tested. He doesn't say "If you're weak and find yourself tested, if your faith is weak and you start to struggle". No. Your faith, whoever you are as a Christian, will be tested.

Freedom in that thought alone.

So, no blind, false optimism or denial. But we SHOULD count our trials as joy. We should let our testing drive us to be anchored in God. We should take our testing and doubts to God and let Him remind us of what we already know - that this situation is going to work for our good, by His love and grace.

There's also a sense of responsibility. 'And let'. Don't stop. Don't forget. Don't put an end to it. Persevere, I guess. LET steasdfastness work in you. Let God work in you. In fact, this will happen naturally if we do the first bit, if we go to God. If we are seeking to be steadfast in Him, the natural result is that He will work in you to bring you to perfection and completion...LACKING NOTHING.

When we face trials, we often feel like we're lacking something. Sometimes we think we know exactly what it is we're lacking - love, security, a roof over our heads, money in the bank, a sympathetic boss, friendships...

Sometimes, it's hard to put a finger on what is lacking, what exactly wouldmake the situation better.

Always, we will lack nothing if we anchor ourselves in the Lord (nothing of value). Because when we think we know what we're lacking - IS that what we actually lack? Or do we simply lack perfetion and completion in the BIBLICAL sense. Do we lack steadfastness in God?

These are such hope-filled verses! James is so clear - THIS is what perfection and completion really means. Not the situation changing to how I want it, but growing in steadfastness, remembering that we are anchored in the Lord. Lacking nothing.

Woop for the God of my salvation!

And THIS is why we count our trials as joy. Because we focus not on the trial itself, but on the opportunity it presents us to anchor (or re-anchor) ourselves in God.

Trials = blessings!!!

This is hard to grasp. And perhaps slightly weird. But it's true! It's the wonderful, exciting revelation of God's Word that He is full enough of mercy and grace to use even our struggles to bring us joy. And perfection. And completion. True completion.

The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. The amazing truth is that when I'm going through even the hardest of trials, when I'm at my weakest, when I feel that I nothing, I can remember that, anchored in God, steadfast, I lack nothing. I can glorify God and enjoy Him even when I feel there is nothing else to enjoy and I have nothing to offer in glorifying God.

James said he was a servant of God - is he here teaching us a little of what that means? What it looks like?

And back quickly to Jonah...I was talking about what we'd studied with another friend (yes, I have several) and he said something quite simple, but quite profound and very on the mark and very helpful.

"So often we are like Jonah, but God is always like God."

Yes!

God is always like God.

I want to follow the teaching of James. Not because of James, but because he points me to God. He points me to my anchor. I want to be like Jesus, humbly meeting trials head on, focusing on the end result, not the present suffering. When you MEET trials, James says. I want to meet them, square in the face, knowing that I am anchored and steadfast in the God of salvation and that I can run to him when I am tested, that I can stand firm in Him when I am tested, and that when the testing is over (especially when, on that glorious Day, it is finally and completely over) I will be steadfast, perfect, complete. Lacking nothing.

And, therefore, having everything.

The Catechism for Kids

2008-05-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

Children's talk at church went something like this...

"I'm gonna come down and sit at your level. Now I know the big people, the adults, don't think you can learn stuff or understand stuff, but I know and you know that you're more intelligent than that...and that you're probably much better at remembering stuff than the big people are. So we're gonna learn something today that I think you're clever enough to learn. When we learn something new it helps to repeat it. So I want you to repeat after me:

'Man's chief end...'

(kids: 'man's chief end' x3)

Great! Now we're gonna add a bit.

Ready?

'Man's chief end is to glorify God'

(kids: 'man's chief end...is to glorify God' x 4)

Great! Now let me explain what that means. It means the reason you were born is to glorify God. That's why you're alive. Now how do you 'glorify God'? What does that mean? Well it means you do what God says. So that means you read the Bible and find out what God says and tells you to do, and then do it. And that's how you glorify God. (which, I'm afraid, also means obeying your parents.)

Let's try it one more time, you do it on your own this time:

Kids: 'Man's chief end is to glorify God'

Great."

---End talk---

That's not word for word, I wasnt taping what the guy was saying. But it's the gist of it.

I was beaming from ear to ear. More, please.

Back into the fray...

2008-04-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

Maybe.

It seems I've been forced back into blogging. Maybe 'forced' isn't the right word. Probably not. But here I am, possibly against my better judgement and definitely against my aching body's wishes to lie down and sleep!

I stopped blogging for varoius personal reasons. There have been one or two occasions over the past year which have tried to tempt my blogging juices to get flowing again, but obviously to no avail. I can't say I've really missed it at all. But nevertheless, here once more I am typing away on my brother's laptop. I didn't think I'd remember my blogspot.com password, but it appears I do.

Have you missed my random ramblings?! Maybe now's the appropriate time to finally introduce the subject - or, what I hope will be the subject if I can keep my focus - of this post...

The problem is that I often have most of what I perceive to be my most wise, insightful, helpful, downright clever thoughts when I'm driving to/from work and have a lot of time to think. But as soon as I leave my car, the sphere of brain power, clearly; I forget.

Something about pride is springing to mind.

Anyway, this blogpost will not be coherent (if you hadn't already guessed). I think I have more questions than anything else.

And I think that's a huge part of what provoked me to write this post in the first place.

So. Let's kick off proper like.

Yesterday was Sunday. Sunday means church. Off to church I went.

Our minister has recently retired. Enter visiting speaker. Enter Ceryn, asked to do the reading. Enter 1 Corinthians 15:12-28. (I have forgotten how to do links...maybe I'll come back and edit this later. If not, go to biblegateway.com. Or, even better, your actual real Bible.)

So, I read that passage and thought WOW this sermon's gonna be awesome.

I read the passage out in church and got excited by everything it said.

And then.

I don't want to make this overdramatic but really, why do people just not preach the passage anymore?

I read that passage, which to be honest was a passage I desperately needed to read and be reminded of (which, maybe, is why I was doubly upset...is that 'wrong'?) and then listened to a sermon that did not mention it at all. AT ALL. Well, apart from a few passing references to the fact that Christ is risen.

What, instead, the guy (who is lovely and a brother in Christ) said was...something about how Jesus - the risen Jesus - is available to us in all areas of our life, how we can experience Him in all areas of our life, how He meets us in different situations. He used examples from the gospels of different people Jesus appeared to and the different personalities they were/different situations they were in (again, though, without ever quoting any Bible verses).

Even typing this now I want to cry. My heart aches at the lack of Bible centred teaching in my church. Is it just my church?

The thing is, I couldn't pick out any heresies. There wasn't anything he said that wasn't true. That, no doubt, wasn't encouraging.

But is that the point? It's a good thing, I think. But is it the point?

I went to talk to him afterwards. I've wanted to do that to many a preacher since I've been home and never have. In fact, I've become content with it. I've succumbed to the mentality that it's just all we can expect, because I've become tired of fighting what I've perceived to be an easily lost battle. Because I've been fed up of being labeled the 'revolutionary' who is just too young and fresh out of uni to know how the church works in the real world.

Maybe that's an unfair caricature of how people have perceived me. But it's how I've felt.

But after a week at New Word Alive (praise God), and with Jess sat beside me, who agreed and made me realise I wasn't the only crazy young revolutionary, I just couldn't stand for it anymore.

That there's fighting talk, but then I was faced with the prospect of how exactly to approach a man who is well known and respected around these here parts, is old enough to be my grandad (and therefore automatically deserves my respect), and does, I'm convinced, love the Lord - how to approach such a man, my brother in Christ, whose 'profession' (for want of a much better word) is teaching the Bible...and tell him I'm concerned with how he preached. That, let's be blunt, I didn't really agree with what he did.

The answer, of course, is prayer, love, sensitivity and, I think, discreetness. I didn't want to approach him in front of everyone else - both for his benefit and that of my church, who I've come to realise I do love dearly. I didn't want to be responsible for making them stumble, I didn't want to be responsible for causing gossip ("Did you see Ceryn questionning the minister?")...and yet at the same time part of me wanted them to see, wanted them to realise that ministers are just human after all, and that we are 'allowed' to question. In love.

But, we waited till most people had left and asked the minister for some of his time.

We discussed exspository preaching, we discussed whether it's the only way to preach, we discussed why he didn't preach in that style - why he didn't mention the passage at all. I admitted I felt like he was disregarding the Bible - that we'd had the reading and therefore done what we should do, now let's just have a nice chat about life experience. I put forward my very serious concerns, which nearly made me cry right there and then, that the church is not rooted in Scripture, that it is not being taught from Scripture, that it is therefore not growing.

He asked me where I was rooted. Cue almost tears again. Because all I could think was 'nowhere'. I know a lot of that is my own fault because I have not been taking responsibility for personal Bible study. But. Neither do I feel fed in church. Neither do I feel that those who have supposedly been called to teach the Word of God are doing so. Neither do I feel that there is a high view of Scripture in these 'ere parts. And I'm scared it's not just in these 'ere parts.

I'm not saying every sermon should be a verse by verse analysis of a passage. But. Why go to the other extreme?

He suggested that if you preach the same style, or even message - the gospel - every week, people will get bored. God have mercy on us if that is true.

I left the conversation feeling that he was incredibly disillusioned, and I felt sorrow in my heart that he had been defensive, had probably felt under attack although that was never ever my intention, and had not really heard what I was trying to say. I felt sorrow that he has become so disillusioned, and I pray that God would restore to him something of a revolutionary spirit, which is so often just associated with youth - and has a negative connotation.

But should it? I don't know. Many of the quesitons I'm asking right now are just that - questions. I don't have the answers.

But I do feel that we need to be a bit revolutionary these days. We need to stand up for the Bible, certainly. I'm incredibly scared at how easily I've slipped into a lifestyle which does not have a high regard for Scripture; how easily I've succumbed to the pressure of being the only one who wanted to hear expository preaching, or at least the only one who thought it was possible.

And I'm more than saddened by the lack of grounding in Scripture. I'm more than saddened that people just accept what a guy in a pulpit says as a good sermon if it makes them feel good or encourages them even slightly. I'm more than saddened that people are used to - and want, in many cases - that style of preaching. That if he doesn't say anything heretical, then it's ok. (As he himself asked me to measure his sermon - by the bar of herecy.)

But is it ok?

I'm convinced it's not. Should I be otherwise?

I'm sad. I really, really am. I long that people would love the Bible more and long to hear it taught so that they may grow in and from it. I long that I'd not lose that longing again.

But neither do I want to sit in a sermon every Sunday and pull it to pieces. Some weeks ago I had a similar experience of listening to a sermon which did mention the passage once or twice this time, but didn't really have any structure and was difficult to understand (again, could very likely mainly be me). I spoke to someone afterwards who agreed with me, and someone else who thought it was a fantastic sermon. Because they'd picked up on one or two sentences which were true and right. The thought crossed my mind that I'd like a simple life like that, that I'd like to not have the background of CU and Relay training which has fed me gold Bible teaching and taught me to settle for nothing less.

But I don't really think that. I pointed out to said person that yes, said minister had said some earth shattering things (NB - those were the bits where he actually talked about the passage); but was that the point? Some truth? Some Bible?

Or should we be clamouring for nothing but the Bible?

The point is, some or no Bible sermons are comfortable, usually, aren't they? They don't tax your brain and quite often they may encourage you, but they don't challenge you.

And anyway, again, is that the point? Shouldn't we long for the Bible simply because it's the Bible?

Where have we gone so, so wrong? And how, oh how, can we begin to turn the tide?

Of course, the answer is on our knees.

Postscript: I'm quite aware that I haven't really quoted/referred to any Bible in this post...

so, go and read the one passage I did quote in 1 Corinthians. Go and read how our faith is not futile, how we are not dead in our sins - because of Christ. Go and read about how amazing is the resurrection. Go and read some pure gold TRUTH. And then please pray with me, for the sake of our resurrected Christ, that this Truth would not be forgotten or neglected by anyone, least of all - LEAST OF ALL - by the Church.

Back to there

2007-01-21T13:51:00.001-08:00

Well, just as I'm starting to get the blogging bug back, albeit rather slowly, I'm away for a week! Which no doubt, judging by past experience, will make me forget about blogging altogether again for a while.

Off to Ledbury, to the legendary Dyke House, for Relay 2.

Bring it on!

Voice from Christian past

2007-01-20T04:20:00.000-08:00

"There is much in the attitude of professing Christians in this day which fills me with concern, and makes me full of fear for the future. There is an amazing ignorance of Scripture among many, and a consequent want of established, solid religion. In no other way can I account for the ease with which people are, like children, "tosses to and fro, and carried about by every wind of doctrine" (Eph 4:14). There is an Athenian love of novelty abroad, and a morbid distaste for anything old and regular, and in the beaten path of our forefather. Thousands will crowd to hear a new voice and a new doctrine, without considering for a moment whether what they hear is true. - There is an incessant craving after any teaching which is sensational, and exciting, and rousing to the feelings.-There is an unhealthy appetite for a sort of spasmodic and hysterical Christianity. The religious life of many is little better than spiritual dram-drinking, and the "meek and quiet spirit" which St Peter commends is clean forgotten (1 Pet 3:4). Crowds, and crying, and hot rooms, and high flown singing, and an incessant rousing of the emotions, are the only things wich many care fo.-Inability to distinguish differences in doctrine is spreading far and wide, and so long as the preacher is "clever" and "earnest", hundreds seem to think it must be all right, and call you dreadfully "narrow and uncharitable" if you hint that he is unsound!"

"After all, I am convinced that the greatest proof of the extent and power of sin is the pertinacity with which it cleaves to man even after he is converted and has become the subject of the Holy Ghost's operations. To use the language of the Ninth Article, 'this infection of nature doth remain - yea, even in them that are regenerate.' So deeply planted are the roots of human corruption, that even after we are born again, renewed, 'washed, sanctified, justified,' and made living members of Christ, these roots remain alive in the bottom of our hearts, and, like the leprosy in the walls of the house, we never get rid of them until the earthly house of this tabernacle is dissolved. Sin, no doubt, in the believer's heart, has no longer dominion. It is checked, controlled, mortified, and crucified by the expulsive power of the new principle of grace. The life of a believer is a life of victory, and not of failure. But the very struggles which go on within his bosom, the fight that he finds it needful to fight daily, the watchful jealousy which he is obliged to exercise over his inner man, the contest between the flesh and the spirit, the inward 'groanings' which no one knows by he who has experienced them - all, all testify to the same great truth, all show the enormous power and vitality of sin. Mighty indeed must that foe be who even when crucified is still alive! Happy is that believer who understands it, and while he rejoices in Christ Jesus has no confidence in the flesh; and while he says, 'Thanks be unto God who giveth us the victory,' never forgets to watch and pray lest he fall into temptation!...No proof of the fulness of sin, after all, is so overwhelming and unanswerable as the cross and passion of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the whole doctrine of His substitution and atonement. Terribly black must that guilt be for which nothing bu the bloos of the Son of God could make satisfaction. Heavy must that weight of human sin be which made Jesus groan and sweat drops of blood in agony at Gethsemane, and cry at Golgotha, 'My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?' (Matt 27:46). Nothing, I am convinced, will astonish us so much, when we awake in the resurrection day, as the view we shall have of sin, and the retrospect we shall take of our own countless shortcomings and defects. Never till the hour when Christ comes the second time shall we fully realize the 'sinfulness of sin'. Well might George Whitfield say, 'The anthem in heaven will be, What hath God wrought!'"

"'Holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord...' - Hebrews 12:14...Are we holy? Shall we see the Lord? That question can never be out of season. The wise man tells us, 'There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh - a time to keep silence, and a time to speak' (Eccles. 3:4,7); but there is no time, no, not a day, in which a man ought not to be holy. Are we? That question concerns all ranks and conditions of men. Some are rich and some a re poor - some learned and some unlearned - some masters, and some servants; but there is no rank or condition in life in which a man ought not to be holy. Are we? I ask to be heard to-day about this question. How stands the account between our souls and God? In this hurrying, bustling world, let us stand still for a few minutes and consider the matter of holiness. I believe I might have chosen a subject more popular and pleasant. I am sure I might have found one more easy to handle. But I feel deeply I could not have chosen one more seasonable and profitable to our souls...Do you want to attain holiness? Do you feel this day a real heart desire to be holy? Would you be a partaker of the Divine nature? Then go to Christ. Wait for nothing. Wait for nobody. Linger not. Think not to make yourself ready. Go and say to Him, in the words of that beautiful hymn - 'Nothing in my hand I bring, Simply to Thy cross I cling; Naked, flee to Thee for dress; Helpless, look to Thee for grace.' There is not a brick nor a stone laid in the work of our sanctification till we go to Christ. Holiness is His special gift to His believing people. Holiness is the work He carries on in their hearts, by the Spirit whom He puts within them."

"I grant it costs much to be a true Christian. but who in his sound senses can doubt that it is worth any cost to have the soul saved? When the ship is in danger of sinking, the crew think nothing of casting overboard the precious cargo. When a limb is mortified, a man will submit to any severe operation, and even to amputation, to save life. Surely a Christian should be willing to give up anything which stands between him and heaven. A religion that costs nothing is worth nothing! A cheap Christianity, without a cross, will prove in the end a useless Christianity, without a crown."

"When I speak of 'growth in grace' I only mean increase in the degree, size, strength, vigour, and power of the graces which the Holy Spirit plants in a believer's heart. i hold that every one of those graces admits of growth, preogree, and increase. I hold that repentance, faith, hope, love, humility, zeal, courage, and the like, may be little or great, strong or weak, vigorous or feeble, and may vary greatly in the same man at different periods of his life. When I speak of a man 'growing in grace', I mean simply this - that his sense of sin is becoming deeper, his faith stronger, his hope brighter, his love more extensive, his spiritual-mindedness more moarked. He feels more of it in his life. He is going on from strength to strength, from faith to faith, and from grace to grace...Now would it not be well to look within, and put to our souls a simple question? In religion, in the things that concern our peace, in the great matter of personal holiness, are we getting on? DO WE GROW?"

JC Ryle (1816-1900), "Holiness"

Revisited

2007-01-18T12:26:00.000-08:00

God's been reminding me a lot of this lately.

The inspiration and the words He gave me.

Maybe He's trying to tell me something...

O wondrous story!

2007-01-05T05:26:00.001-08:00

Who is He in yonder stall
At Whose feet the shepherds fall?
Who is He in deep distress,
Fasting in the wilderness?

Chorus:
’Tis the Lord! O wondrous story!
’Tis the Lord! the King of glory!
At His feet we humbly fall,
Crown Him! crown Him, Lord of all!

Who is He the people bless
For His words of gentleness?
Who is He to Whom they bring
All the sick and sorrowing?

Who is He that stands and weeps
At the grave where Lazarus sleeps?
Who is He the gathering throng
Greet with loud triumphant song?

Lo! at midnight, who is He
Prays in dark Gethsemane?
Who is He on yonder tree
Dies in grief and agony?

Who is He that from the grave
Comes to heal and help and save?
Who is He that from His throne
Rules through all the world alone?

A silly illustration

2007-01-05T05:10:00.001-08:00

Maybe somewhat cheesy, but hey, you know me (if you don't, then be informed that ever so occasionally I like cheesy links/illustrations).

So on Christmas day it's become a tradition in the Oakes household to go to Ebenezer Baptist Chapel. It's not the church we attend now, but we did, and my parents did before they were married (in fact, that's where they were married, as were I think most of my dad's family). My Nana still attends this church, has done all her life, along with my uncle and his family. My earliest memories of Sunday school are in that church. I remember thinking actually this past Christmas day that they'd changed the gates at the front of the church because they were a lot smaller...obviously I'm a lot taller (steady on the jokes).

Anyway, enough of the history lesson!

The point is, this particular Christmas day the church was celebrating its 100th Christmas and so after the service everyone gathered for a photo. Now, I felt somewhat cheeky at first and thought that maybe we shouldn't be in it as we're not part of the congregation anymore. But after all, we do have (and my parents certainly do have) close associations with that church that go back years - and my Nana can claim the title of 'person who's celebrated most Christmasses in Ebenezer' - so I decided that we were entitled to be in the photo as part of the Ebenezer family 2006 because of our family ties.

And this is where the cheese comes in.

As I stood in that photo I thought "This is SO the opposite to grace!" A funny thought, let me explain...

Isn't it great that we are members of God's family not because of our own family history, or ties to so-and-so, or anything other than grace?!

Because if we were to take a photo of all of God's kingdom we would see people included who have NO family ties to a church ever.

Isn't it in fact wonderful that there is nothing I can claim in and of myself or my relations that entitles me to be part of God's kingdom?

On the face of it it doesn't seem wonderful. On the face of it, by our nature, we look for evidence to present to God that He can count us in. Especially when we feel we've stuffed up. Grace seems too easy, too good to be true, and so we desperately search for something in and of ourselves that we can show to God, in a slightly warped way, something that will make Him proud of us and count us in. This is something I've been struggling with lately...maybe more thoughts to follow...we shall see what God says on that one.

And (more cheese) as I said to some students at Bournemouth...grace, and everything the Bible says about God and how to have a relationship with Him IS too good....but it IS true.

Anyway, this is a very long-winded way of saying isn't grace amazing? Praise God that we are counted righteous in Christ, we are welcomed into God's family not on our own merits or the merits of our family. Nothing else comes into it except our acceptance that Christ is our substitute, that He took the punishment we deserve for going our own way and not God's.

Nothing, absolutely nothing and absolutely nobody can be used as a token to get ourselves into God's kingdom apart from faith in Christ. That is a very good thing.

Nothing, absolutely nothing and absolutely nobody, is worthy of more praise than our wonderful God for what He has done.

(And the word 'wonderful' just doesn't cut it.)

Prayer - take three

2006-12-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

As I said, I also looked at a book called 'The prayer God longs for'. Goldsworthy's book was helpful for looking at the theology of prayer but I also wanted to get right back to basics. And I wanted to see how what Goldsworthy said fitted, if at all, with the prayer we learnt in school.

I guess part of the reason the Lord's prayer has always struck me is because it seems so basic. And yet I have thought for some time that it couldn't be that basic. It was how Jesus taught his disciples to pray. (As a side note, the fact that they needed teaching is an encouragement to me! But also tells me that prayer is something we need to practice, it is a discipline, it is an outworking of our salvation, a fruit of our redemption...)
If this was all he said in teaching them to pray, then surely it must encapsulate so much, was my thinking. Or else, if it really is that simple, why do I often make my prayers so complicated and worry so much about how I pray/what I pray/why I pray?

James Emery White takes each line of the Lord's prayer (which he'd rather call the 'disciples prayer') and looks at it in detail. It's a really easy book to read, very simple and very helpful.

Having read this book, I'm now more convinced than ever of the need to pray this prayer, often. And the need to pray it because it encapsulates everything my prayers should be. It is (surprise, surprise) a wonderful framework for prayer.

When I pray “Our Father”, I'm reminded of the basis of prayer as discussed in Goldsworthy – God is addressed as Father because, firstly, He is the Father of Jesus. I am united to Jesus and I share His sonship. This is the reason I address God as Father – because of Jesus' redemptive work.

This then, right at the start of my prayer, focuses my mind back on Christ, on the fact that I can only address God as Father in the name of Jesus. And it also focuses me on the fact that I can only pray in the name of Jesus through the Holy Spirit. So right from the beginning, I am reminded of God's trinitarian nature.

But it's not just 'our' father – it's 'abba' father. It's intimate. I pray to the creator of the universe as my dad. As much as the theology is important, it should not distance me from God in my prayer. Rather it should bring me closer, as I understand that I can address Him in the most intimate way. I don't need to distance myself. I can pray to my Father, which means I can pray enjoying the fullness of a wonderful parent-child relationship. I can just crawl into His lap!

When I pray “in heaven” again this reminds me of the God to whom I pray. It reminds me of His power.

I don't pray to a small god, a god who is maybe capable of doing some cool stuff and a few miracles but not much really. I pray to the God of heaven (and earth). I pray to the God who is capable of more than I can ask or imagine. So often I put God in a box. When I pray our Father in heaven, I am forced to take down those walls and realise that He's outside them.

I am reminded of, and forced to recognise afresh, His immense power. Power over nature, over disaster, over salvation...over me. Do I pray like I know I'm praying to God in heaven?

“hallowed be your name” - this is a big one. Because too often it's easy to focus on the daddy side, the intimate side. It's too easy to not take God's name seriously enough. God's name is holy because He is holy. This isn't something to be taken lightly. Nor should we fear it in the sense that we lose the intimacy, but there has to be a balance.

Then we come to the crunch – being submitted to God by prayer “your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”. I spoke a bit earlier about the “your kingdom come” bit. The emphasis is on the 'your' isn't it.

It's not me and my will, it's God and His will that ultimately I want. These are hard words to pray. Maybe that's why we (I) don't pray the Lord's prayer so often. It takes a complete submission and neglect of pride to pray these words.

But pride is what cut us off from God in the first place. It is a battle we (I) will face daily, our battle with pride. So these are important words to pray.
This line is an intense line in prayer, these are intense words. Because when we pray these words, we pray first and foremost that God's kingdom would come in US, and from us spread to the world.

What I find fascinating about the Lord's prayer though is that it isn't just about God's will. Because the second half of the prayer moves on to prayer for our daily bread (which includes everything, we need to be reminded that we are dependant upon God for everything!).

It also moves on to our need for forgiveness, and the enabling to forgive others. It makes perfect sense to me that Jesus could have just told us to pray for His will to be done in our lives, because surely that's the most important thing.

But He cares! He is our daddy. And the Lord's prayer demonstrates completely, I think, how well He knows us. The structure of it belies that. We are focused first and foremost on who He is and that His will is most important – and it is in that context that we move on to pray for our needs.

Yes, he wants to hear about our needs, which is remarkable in itself. But He teaches us to pray for them in a way which humbles us before Him and reminds us that His glory is number one, and that He is all powerful so we have nothing to fear/want for.

We are totally dependent on Him. And we are forced to be honest with Him when we pray that he would forgive us “as we forgive others”. Again, these are hard lines to pray. But pray them we must. I must.

And then finally I am humbled (if I haven't already been!) by asking God to deliver me from evil. I'm reminded that this is a spiritual battle. And it's a battle that I am fighting in every day, but that I cannot win. It's a battle I have to rely totally on God for strength in.

There but for the grace of God go I.

I am susceptible to any temptation that I judge others on yielding to. I don't want to admit that, I'd like to think there are at least some areas in my life that I am in control of and that there are some temptations I would never yield to. But that's just not true. I need God to lead me away from temptation, to deliver me from evil.

I guess I've just been reminded of WHY prayer is a necessity. I always knew it was, but I'd lost focus on why. When I pray, somehow, God listens. I can understand the theological reasons for that – my unity with Christ through His redemptive work on the cross – but it still blows me away when I really think about it.

I am a child of God. I really am. This isn't a fairy tale, this is reality. I have the utter privilege of calling the creator of the universe daddy. And I can talk to Him. I can talk to Him about anything, and He will listen, because of Jesus.

But more than that, somehow, again beyond my comprehension, is the fact that even when I don't want to pray, He will help me through His Spirit – and that both the Spirit and Jesus intercede FOR me is something I'm still trying to get my head around. I guess it's when I lose that focus that prayer becomes hard. I need to be excited about prayer – not whip myself up into an excitement but focus on who God is, what He's done for me, and how I can, amazingly, have a part in His plans through the medium of prayer, by praying for His kingdom to come...

And I've been reminded, and encouraged, that there is no such thing as unanswered prayer. I can be confident that God hears my prayers because of Jesus, and that even when I don't know what to pray, the Spirit intercedes for me.

And so I know God hears. What then, does He simply ignore me sometimes?! Of course not. If he did, I would have no basis for calling Him Abba. He is my dad, and so I know he listens. But I also pray His will be done. And in that context, I know that He will answer. He will answer in accordance with His will.

Often this is hard to swallow. But it's the best way. And so I go on praying. I go on praying because that is how I learn to pray. That is how I am moulded, refined, transformed. I go on praying because of who God is. I go on talking to my dad by the enabling of the Spirit, in the name of Jesus.

I think I'm going to leave the study of prayer in terms of reading books on it for a while, and just focus on praying! There's so much more that I could look at, so many more aspects of prayer. But for me, for now, this is enough. It's been enough, it's been great, to just focus again on WHO God is. That's what I need to remind myself from now on of when I pray. And it's a matter of discipline.

Apparently William Wilberforce said once “All may be done through prayer – on then, pray, pray, pray.” For me right now the question isn't whether I understand prayer and the intricacies of how it works or not, the question is whether I'm praying, to my Father, in the powerful name of Jesus, through the Holy Spirit.

I know this isn't always going to be as easy as I'm making out! Which is why I like this story...

Prayer - take two

2006-12-28T09:59:00.001-08:00

So there you go. I guess mainly my drive was to re-affirm my confidence in prayer – something which had been shaken through my time of being ill.

Initially shaken because I just felt too tired to pray, then shaken because when I did pray, the thoughts on my heart weren't always firmly focused on God's faithfulness. They had been, but as time went on they became more of the “God get me out of this” type, and I wasn't sure I should pray those or not. Truthfully, I was a little confused!

I wanted to look at the Lord's prayer – a prayer which has always fascinated me if only for the fact that you rote-learn it in school (perhaps not these days) and Sunday school, but then never seem to pray when you're older, at least not in my experience.

I had this instinct that surely there must be more to that prayer than this. I think I've had that for a while, I remember in exec meetings at uni asking if we could pray it together, and getting cell to pray it together.

But I started by reading 'Prayer' by Philip Yancey. Whilst this book is great and I'd recommend it, it wasn't really entirely what I was looking for when I embarked on the study...it was certainly honest, which is one thing I love about it. And it made me want to pray honestly, to actively give God the thoughts He already knew were in my mind.

But like I said, I wanted to focus more on the Lord's prayer. And also I still had this niggling feeling that practical ideas/strategies for how to pray, how to persevere when praying's hard (although those suggestions are helpful and it's nice to know you're not the only Christian who struggles with prayer) weren't the answer, at least not the answer I was looking for. I knew I had to get to the root of prayer – why we pray in the first place, and remind myself of who we pray to.

So I turned to 'The prayer God longs for' by James Emery White, and 'Prayer and the knowledge of God' by Graeme Goldsworthy. Again, I'd recommend both books!

Goldsworthy begins his book by suggesting that how well we know God will have an impact on how we pray, and goes on through the book looking at this. Firstly he looks at how our knowledge of God relates to the basis of prayer, then the source of prayer, the enabling of prayer, the pattern of prayer and the progress of prayer throughout the Bible. To be honest, I need to read this book again to fully grasp it – I think the main problem is that I didn't read it all in one go, I read a bit on one day each week.

But it was really helpful, if somewhat technical in places. The first couple of chapters and the last one in particular were really helpful, mainly because they just reminded me of how great God is and what a privilege prayer is – this book REALLY made me want to pray, and made me excited about praying. But what I love about it is that it made me excited about praying by showing me who God is.

He reminded me that in the beginning, God spoke, and that a central aspect of prayer is the doctrine of the trinity. As for the basis of our prayers, this is our sonship in Christ. Jesus is the only true Son of God, and so it is only in union with Him we can cry Abba. We share Jesus' sonship – how amazing is that?!

So our prayer through Jesus is heard in the same way as Jesus' own prayers – that knocked me off my feet. Because it means it's ok when I don't pray as I should; it's ok that I can't find the words sometimes or sometimes I find it hard to muster up a prayer. Because Jesus has redeemed me – and that redemption includes my feeble prayers. If we really grasp that, Goldsworthy suggests, our prayers will no longer be half-hearted, but confident.

I love the words of The Vision, especially the last bit where it says “And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon. How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself.”

Sometimes, often in fact, my prayers are feeble, and they're not filled with much faith, and they're whispered when I don't quite believe God can answer...but I pray in the name of Jesus.

I've also learnt that developing our prayers is a fruit of our salvation, because prayer is, mainly, an activity of God's people, God's redeemed people who belong to Him because of Christ's work.

I've often wondered about how we should pray in terms of seeking God's will. For example with guidance for things, or for different situations. When praying that I'd get better I wondered whether that was what I should be praying, or whether there was any point if it wasn't God's will. But I've come to see that my focus was wrong.

My focus shouldn't necessarily be on WHAT I pray about – of course I am to pray about things in life, circumstances, situations – but I need to think about HOW I pray for those things. Do I pray for those things in a manner that suggests I want God's will, no matter what I'm praying about.

Goldsworthy asks at the end of one chapter “Are you thinking God's thoughts after Him?” Am I? That was a real challenge for me. When I pray, what is my primary concern. I've already said that of course we should pray for circumstances etc – but primarily I guess I've come to realise that I should be placing a big focus on praying in accordance with the gospel, which means praying in line with the storyline of the Bible, which is creation and redemption – which means praying “Your kingdom come”.

I'll come back to that when I talk about the Lord's prayer. But something the speaker at Portsmouth houseparty said struck me about this as well – he said that each new day is simply another day to proclaim Christ – that's the main reason for each day. Each new day isn't another chance to spend time with each other or accomplish certain things, it's the grace of God giving us one more day to preach Christ crucified. If that's the case, then that should be the focus of my prayers each morning.

Prayer is to the Father, through Jesus, enabled by the Spirit. This is prayer. In and of itself it is nothing to do with me. This is something I definitely need to remember when I'm struggling to pray – when my body and mind are tired, when I'm feeling low, when I'm wondering what the point is. The point is that God is God – that prayer is the result of knowing Him, the way I interact with Him (however I'm feeling).

Goldsworthy concludes his book by looking at characteristics of authentic Christian prayer. I was challenged that prayer should always be trintarian – I need to remember that when I pray. As much as the songs we sing neglect all persons of the Godhead, as we discussed in our Relay day on the Trinity, how often do my prayers? Indeed, it is only through the Spirit turning me to faith in Jesus so as to have access to the Father that I can pray at all! “Prayer is a foretaste of eternity with God”

Prayer - take one

2006-12-28T09:46:00.001-08:00

As part of Relay we do an elective study module - this term just gone I decided to look at prayer, for reasons that will be somewhat explained further on in this or another post. Anyway, the south east relays (plus staffworkers Kath and David) met at beginning of December to present to each other (and Kath and David!) what we'd learnt. Thought I might blog it, but probably in a couple of posts coz there's quite a bit!

So, post 1.

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Prayer – a little word with big implications! And many aspects – a huge topic. And so obviously there's no way I will have studied all those aspects in one term. So I'm going to start by reading you what I wrote for Kath when I started this elective study, because that explains (I hope!) where I'm coming from in my study of prayer:

I seem to go through phases as far as praying goes. Sometimes I can't stop! This itself is split into 'sections' as it were – I can't stop praising or I can't stop asking! There are times, wonderful times, when I just cannot stop communicating with my heavenly Father. And then there are times, not so good times, when it seems like such an effort. When it seems too hard.

It often feels like I'm the only one with that experience. But experience assures me I'm not! I wonder, why is it that sometimes, far too often in fact, prayer can seem like such a struggle, an effort. Surely it comes down to our motivation and our focus.

Surely if we knew why we pray in the first place – I mean really knew – then it wouldn't be so hard? Because surely the reasons are good ones (God being God)! Surely if we could focus on that in the dry times then it would help us, even when the going gets tough.

And so my first question is why do we pray?

And I know there are times when I pray with the utmost confidence in who I am praying to and what the result will be. But then at times I pray so halfheartedly, not really expecting or knowing if God will answer my prayers.

So my second question is what happens when we pray?

And then there are times when my prayers are unsteady because I'm not sure I'm even supposed (/allowed?) to be praying what I am!

Hence the 3rd question – What should we pray when we pray?

I know there have been many books written on the subject, and I aim to look at these during the course of my study (some immediate ones which spring to mind are 'Prayer' by Philip Yancey and 'Praying and the knowledge of God' by Graeme Goldsworthy). But I also want to look at the prayers of the Bible. I want to know what the Bible tells us about prayer.

I'd like to base my elective study for this term on prayer mainly because it's something I struggle with, because it's something I want to understand more, because I want to engage in prayer more, and because I want to help my friends do the same.

I want to be excited about prayer.

A return to blogging - courtesy of Mr Townend

2006-12-24T08:54:00.001-08:00

From the squalor of a borrowed stable,
By the Spirit and a virgin's faith;
To the anguish and the shame of scandal
Came the Saviour of the human race!
But the skies were filled with the praise of heaven,
Shepherds listen as the angels tell
Of the Gift of God come down to man
At the dawning of Immanuel.

King of heaven now the Friend of sinners,
Humble servant in the Father's hands,
Filled with power and the Holy Spirit,
Filled with mercy for the broken man.
Yes, He walked my road and He felt my pain,
Joys and sorrows that I know so well;
Yet His righteous steps give me hope again -
I will follow my Immanuel!

Through the kisses of a friend's betrayal,
He was lifted on a cruel cross;
He was punished for a world's transgressions,
He was suffering to save the lost.
He fights for breath, He fights for me,
Loosing sinners from the claims of hell;
And with a shout our souls are free -
Death defeated by Immanuel!

Now He's standing in the place of honour,
Crowned with glory on the highest throne,
Interceding for His own belovèd
Till His Father calls to bring them home!
Then the skies will part as the trumpet sounds
Hope of heaven or the fear of hell;
But the Bride will run to her Lover's arms,
Giving glory to Immanuel!

Stuart TownendCopyright © 1999 Thankyou Music

Off again!

2006-11-24T14:51:00.000-08:00

I'm off adventuring again. And in this weather it really does feel like an adventure!

The hovercraft awaits to take me to the Isle of Wight for UPCU's houseparty. I'm looking forward to getting to know students better, a little scared about my seminar, but generally excited at what God's gonna do. And from there it's away to Bournemouth to help out with their mission week. (After a day off on Monday, but I doubt I'll be blogging anything!) And then I'm going home for a couple of days, which conveniently ties in with Nathan's birthday. And I probably won't blog anything then, either!

So, I'll be back here in December!

Oh for a closer walk with God

2006-11-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a brief conversation with my housemate, Lucy, about fasting and prayer. She was talking about a talk she'd heard at church on Sunday about fasting not having to mean food - why don't we fast watching TV for example? I suggested to her she should fast running round being so busy all the time. Wasn't until I was walking to housegroup later that night that I realised the irony of me saying that to her...

Well, maybe it's not such an ironic statement anymore as I'm unable to be as busy as I'd like to be. But that set me thinking - now, I'm no expert on fasting whatsoever. But surely the point is to give up something important in order to spend time with and focus on God who is, after all, infinitely more important. It occurred to me that I seem to have been forced into this position over the last x number of months...but I'm certainly not rejoicing in it! I'm certainly not of the attitude that this allows me to develop my walk with God. At least, not as much as I should be.

The journey has been a somewhat rough, uneven one. At first (apart form the pain) I was rather happy to take some time out. But as time has gone on, and on, with doctors still not knowing what's wrong, well, it's gotten somewhat harder. The days where I struggle to trust God, where I struggle for peace, where I struggle to delight in God are becoming more than the days where I do.

Last night as I was walking to housegroup I started to use the opportunity (as I often do when on trains/walking on my own) to text/ring people I wanted to get in touch with. But then that conversation with Lucy popped back into my head. How about I give up texting, just for this next half hour walk, and pray?

I was suprised at how hard it was! But as I prayed it occurred to me that I want to say, with Paul, that I rejoice in my sufferings, in my weaknesses. But as much as I want that, I'm holding back from it, and in the process I'm hardening my heart to God and His goodness.

At the root of it, I guess, is my pride. It's incredibly hard for me to pray or spend time with God because I'm so tired all the time...I keep trying to find the strength, but eventually it just gets too hard and I stop trying.

But God reminded me (again) last night that in NO PART is this about me. I can't even muscle up the strength to spend time with Him in prayer. It ALL has to come from HIM. As does the power to rejoice in my weaknesses.

I have to come to a point where I recognise, really recognise, that it's ok to be weak...but I think, unfortunately, that's a lesson I'm gonna have to go on re-learning. I wish I could learn it once for all.

And then in housegroup we looked at Philippians 1:27-2:11. We saw Jesus' humility.

The bottom line is, it's hard, BUT God alone is worthy. And one thing that has really stuck with me over the past few months is that without God I have nothing. So I'd better start looking to Him for the strength and desire to live for Him, hadn't I; I'd better start looking to Him in the dark times instead of pushing Him away; I'd better start looking to Him for peace, coz He's the only place I'll find it.

It's me and Will from now on!

2006-11-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

'Prayer - privilege and importance of!' Simon Pethick,

UPCU main meeting, 13/11/2006.

(Have to admit I was very tired during this talk, so my notes are probably not up to scratch. Therefore anything that doesn't make sense or sounds dodgy is thoroughly me, not Simon!)

Firstly, this is a massive topic, and not everything will be covered tonight!

Do you realise that every single mistake you've made as a Christian is because of a wrong understanding of the character of God? It's the conviction of every Christian that if we really knew what God was like, prayer would be a privilege, not a chore.

Isaiah 6. Isaiah is seeing God. The temple = vitally important. It's a huge, mammoth structure -and yet just the train of God's robe fills it completely. Wow - how big is God?!
Seraphs - literally 'burning ones'. They burn with white hot purity. And yet with two of their wings they cover their faces. Even though these seraphs are morally pure and didn't fall, they can't look at God. He's just too glorious.

They call to one another 'Holy, holy, holy' - this is a dimension beyond which Isaiah's mind can get a handle on, beyond what our minds can get a handle on.

And so what's his response? 'Woe to me'.
Isaiah says that now he's seen God, knowing what he himself is like, unclean, there's no hope for him.

Surely, if we saw God as Isaiah did then we wouldn't be so complacent about our relationship with Him. And prayer would be a privilege.

The curtain has been torn! So now it's not just the high priest, not just once a year, not just in a certain place...we can come to God ourselves, anytime, anyplace.

Is that a cheap privilege?

No! It took the death of Jesus to win us that privilege.
Hebrews 10:19. We haven't earned the right. Jesus' blood has washed us.

Prayer in some way changes the way God acts. James 4:2, Luke 11:9-10, 2 Chronicles 7:14. Not time to really go into this now, but let's just realise that this is what the Bible says...but remember that the power doesn't come from us. The power always comes from God. But prayer is the key to unlocking that power.

Matthew 3:17. What's that got to do with prayer? Adoption - big theme in New Testament. When you become a Christian God acts towards you as a son. You change family. Matthew 7:9 - the explanation.

In the New Testament we have the distinction between 'out of' God's riches and 'according to' God's riches. Imagine Bill Gates was your dad - if he promised you something 'out of' his riches, he'd be perfectly within his promise to give you just 5 pence. It's 'out of' what he has. But 'according to' his riches represents so much more! And God gives 'according to' His riches - so how much can we expect from God when we pray?!

Perhaps we still have this idea of God being stingy. But that's not God! If we ask, He gives us His Spirit - He gives us of Himself!

Once you've understood something of this...wow! God is more willing to give than we are to ask!

Prayer isn't an optional add-on. Prayer is a necessity. It's the fuel for effective Christian living. If you don't pray, you won't achieve anything.

When we depend upon organisations, we get what organisations give; when we depend upon education, we get what education can give; when we depend upon man, we get what man can give; when we depend upon prayer, we get what God can give...

2 Corinthians 4:2-6. The veil needs to be lifted. That needs a miracle! How? We're gonna be really persuasive, a massive event we put on, leaflets we give out...? Nope!
verse 5 - preach Christ as Lord.
verse 6 - God made His light shine in our hearts.

God created light. He SPOKE it into existence. Imagine watching that. You don't even know what light is up till this point, then, suddenly, God just speaks and wow, there it is. He just spoke, and light came to be. God employs that same power that He used to create light in the first place to make His light shine in people's hearts. It takes that kind of power. So how on earth are you going to see anyone saved if you don't pray? Yes we play our part - but it's not us. Preach Christ, yes, but do not neglect prayer.

We don't think we need it do we. Sometimes it just feels like a waste of time. When faced with a crisis, we'd rather do something practical to try and solve the problem, than pray. But prayer has to be a priority.

Be a broken record when it comes to prayer. Be a praying CU. No matter your gifts, you're useless without prayer. But with prayer - you're dangerous! Imagine all God could do through a praying CU.

Are you praying?

"All may be done through prayer...on then - pray, pray, pray!" - Wilberforce.

Prayer is an urgent necessity for serious Christians. Don't just get excited about prayer for one evening, and then neglect it when the going gets tough. It's you and Will.

Upopen

2006-11-10T19:58:00.000-08:00

I return to the south east!

But alas, I really am too tired to blog anything about team days! Hopefully soon, coz it rocked.

Sarah, Devon really is gorgeous.

Nathan...er, no. Woulda brought you back a pebble if I'd known.